If Our Maryland Therapists Could Give Their Younger Selves Advice…
As therapists, it is easy to focus on helping others navigate and manage stress, but what would we tell our younger selves if we had the chance? Many of us do not always have the correct tools, awareness, or language we have now to manage our mental health. We asked our team of Maryland-based clinicians to reflect on the lessons they have learned over the years and the advice they would give their younger selves about managing stress, and how they recognize when it is time to reach out for support. Here is what they had to say.
“If you could give your younger self one piece of advice about handling stress, what would it be?”
A common theme across the responses was self-compassion. Many of our clinicians shared that they would remind their younger selves that slowing down is not a sign of weakness, but an act of care. In this technology and productivity-driven age, it is easy for us to forget how to rest, breathe, and be in the present. Some of our clinicians even emphasized how important it is to openly talk about stress, seek help sooner, and remember that challenges are only temporary. Stress is not a message of failure; it is your mind and body signaling that you deserve to rest and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Here is a closer look at what they said.
“I would tell my younger self that it’s okay to slow down and that rest isn’t laziness, it’s necessary. Stress doesn’t mean you’re failing, it's just your body asking for care and attention.”
“Lean on others and keep doing what you're doing!”
“Breathe and a gentle reminder that this stressful situation is temporary.”
“Be proactive about your stress management rather than reactive.”
“It’s ok to talk about it.”
David Cloutier, Masters-Level Counseling Intern
“Live in the present. There's a million things you can plan for, a million things you can worry about. But spending just a few minutes enjoying what's in front of you and the moments you have will be what you remember years later.”
Jackson Borchers, Masters-Level Counseling Intern
“We usually do the best we can with the information we have at the time. Reminding myself I did the best I could and now I have more tools to better help myself!”
“Stress isn't meant to be handled alone - and it's very important to have support in your life from trusted individuals who are able to show up for you, so you can better show up for yourself.”
“It would be to not worry about being perfect. A younger me would always be obsessed with doing anything he could to get ahead and achieve perfection in school, which caused so much undue stress over things that I rarely even think about present-day. Even the smallest hiccup would feel like my world was ending sometimes. The stress of today will often be the joke of tomorrow. In the moment, it feels like a major storm, but in the future, it will be a thing of the past.”
“Ask yourself if this will matter 5 minutes/days/months/years from now.”
“If you are struggling with your mental health, don't be ashamed or have guilt. Your feelings and emotions matter!!!!”
“How do you know when it’s time to reach out for extra support instead of managing stress alone?”
Knowing when to seek extra support relies on awareness of changes in your life. When does stress begin to seep into your everyday life and interactions with others? Many mentioned how they noticed changes in sleep, mood, concentration, or when feelings of overwhelm turn into numbness. Others mentioned that it is time to reach out when stress begins to mess with their relationships, responsibilities, or physical health. A few of our therapists also emphasized the importance of self-reflection and supervision because sometimes even they need help recognizing when they have reached their limits. When stress begins to affect your ability to function and find joy in life, that is your cue to lean on others. Here is a closer look at what our therapists had to say.
“It’s usually time to reach out when stress starts to interfere with daily life like sleep, relationships, focus, or your ability to enjoy things.”
“I tend to get emotional (in a teary way) when I feel overwhelmed, so that is when I know I've definitely overextended myself and I need to hit a hard reset.”
“Great question because I am not always aware of it. Once it comes to my attention, it's surprising that I didn't notice. I'm fortunate to have wonderful supervision that allows me to speak out loud what I am feeling and make the connection to stress.”
“I know that it's definitely time to reach out for extra support when I notice the emotion of stress or overwhelm transition into a feeling of numbness or indifference.”
“When schedules / sleep / social obligations begin to fall apart.”
David Cloutier, Masters-Level Counseling Intern
“When it's all you can think about. Like I said, some stress is good! But when it consumes you and your thoughts, that's when you should consider finding support.”
Jackson Borchers, Masters-Level Counseling Intern
“Always helpful for me to reach out for support when my balance of life priorities starts neglecting in one area!”
“I would say the number 1 sign that more support is needed is if you start to notice stress impairing your ability to fulfill role obligations at home/work/school/family/relationships.”
“I usually reach out for extra support when I start to feel physical symptoms of stress and feel overwhelmed by the avalanche of thoughts that comes up. Just by getting those thoughts out to someone else, I find that I can gain so much clarity just by hearing myself back, as well as hearing the other person's acknowledgment of what I'm going through.”
“When it starts to interfere with my body (e.g., can't sleep, changes in weight, muscle tension).”
“I know when it's time to reach out for support when I can no longer do things on my own, and need that 3rd person perspective to hear and listen to me.”
Looking back at what our therapists had to say is a reminder that growth comes from learning to slow down, listen to our bodies, and ask for help when we need it. From giving ourselves permission to rest to recognizing the signals from our bodies asking for support, these lessons highlight how humans are not designed to handle stress alone. True healing begins when we are able to replace our self-criticism with self-compassion and allow others to hold us up through life’s more difficult moments.
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Internship Opportunities at LifeSpring
Are you a Maryland resident looking to start online or in-person therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, grief and loss, or trauma?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Online and in-person counseling for anxiety, depression, life transitions, grief and loss, and trauma aren’t the only services offered at our Baltimore, MD office.
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Rictika Dhakal, Towson University Undergraduate Intern, with inspiration from our therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services in Maryland.
