How to Give the Ultimate Holiday Gift Based on Someone’s Love Language
If you’re familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s Book on The 5 Love Languages, then you know just how impactful it can be when you show someone love according to their own love language. You might also be aware of how impactful it can be when someone shows YOU love according to YOUR love language. As we enter into this gift-giving holiday season, it’s worth keeping our friends and family members’ love languages in mind, so we can give a gift that TRULY hits the spot!
As a refresher, the 5 love languages are:
Gift Giving —giving an actual gift as a token of love, care, or thoughtfulness. Do you know someone who is a really thoughtful gift giver, or someone who is always giving you things to let you know that they thought of you?
Acts of Service — doing something (an action) that someone would truly appreciate and find helpful. Do you know someone who is regularly helping out, even behind the scenes?
Physical Touch — using physical touch as a means of showing love and care. Ex. hugs, hand holding, cuddling, etc. Do you know someone who is pretty touchy, feely, even when talking with people in conversation (and, I’m not talking about someone who’s being inappropriate and creepy!)
Quality Time — spending undistracted time with someone. Do you know someone who loves hanging out and spending time together?
Words of Affirmation — showing love and care through spoken words or written words (cards, emails, notes, texts, etc.). Do you know someone who sends you notes, text, cards, etc. to let you know they care, “just because?”
If you’re not sure what your love language is, you can take the quiz here. You can encourage your friends and family to take the quiz too, and then share the results with one another. It’s fun to guess one another’s love languages before sharing the final quiz results as well!
A word of caution: We have a tendency to show love according to our own love language, rather than according to the other person’s. You’ll want to keep an eye out for this to make sure that you are not gifting according to your own preferences, and to stay focused on the receiver’s love language. Gifting according to YOUR love language will not have the same impact as gifting according to the other person’s love language. And, gifting according to YOUR love language could leave someone you truly care about feeling unloved and overlooked.
Gift Ideas When You Want to Give Someone the Ultimate Holiday Gift According to Their Love Language
If you need ideas for giving friends, family, or colleagues a gift that they’ll truly love, we’ve got some gift-giving ideas based on their love language.
Quality Time Gift Ideas
Gift experiences you know this person will love (and know that it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive). You can buy tickets for a quality time activity of interest. Ex. a concert, local festival, holiday event, escape room, etc.
Give a coupon or IOU for a future experience.
Plan undistracted quality time you know they’ll love such as a movie or game night at home. Plan an outdoor picnic or go for a walk.
Plan a gathering with this person’s favorite people.
Take them out to eat at their favorite restaurant and engage in meaningful conversation.
Create an activities jar. Put slips of paper with this person’s favorite activities in it. When you both have free time and don’t know what to do, pick a slip of paper from the jar and do that activity together.
Create a homemade coupon book with this person’s favorite activities in it. When this person wants to use one of the coupons from the book, they can give it to you to redeem it for quality time engaging in the activity on the coupon.
Pro Tips: Do the leg work for the quality time experience you are gifting, so the recipient doesn’t have to do the work of planning their own quality time gift. Make sure you are attentive and distraction free when spending quality time with someone.
Acts of Service Gift Ideas
Volunteer to do the household tasks that this person is usually in charge of (example: taking out the recycling, cutting the grass, doing the dishes, cleaning).
Complete a task that you know has been on this person’s to-do list forever!!
Volunteer to help this person complete a big project that they’ve been putting off.
Cook a nice meal for this person.
Pro Tip: Even helpers appreciate help now and again! Paying attention will give you clues as to the types of tasks that this person would most appreciate if someone else did them as an act of service.
Gift Giving Gift Ideas
Here are some questions to consider when gifting a physical gift to a gift giver:
What are some things that this person really loves?
What are they really into right now?
What are some things they’ve been talking about lately that would give clues about something they’d really love?
What are their favorite colors or scents?
What is something they would really like but never buy for themselves?
What is something unique that you know they don’t have?
What kind of gift would show that you’ve been paying attention?
What is this person’s favorite store?
Pro Tip: When giving a gift to a gift giver, it’s not necessarily about the price of the gift. Giving a gift that shows thoughtfulness and attentiveness will mean a lot!
Physical Touch Gift Ideas
Gift a massage or other wellness-based service that involves physical touch
Gift a product that is pleasing to the sense of touch
Initiate physical touch such as hand holding, cuddling, hugs
Pro Tip: Physical touch is something that should always be consensual, so only use physical touch when you know the other person is open to a certain type of touch from you. When in doubt, ask.
Words of Affirmation Gift Ideas
Send a card in the mail with a meaningful, personalized note.
Send a text to let the person know you’re thinking of them and that you care.
When you see this person, let them know how much they mean to you. Let them know what you appreciate about them.
Leave little hand-written notes where this person will find them. Ex. leave them in their lunch box or on their desk.
Call someone on the phone to let them know that you were thinking of them. (Yes, actually pick up the phone and call!). Communicate gratitude for something they’ve done.
Pro Tips: If this sounds too easy, do it anyway!! Some of the most meaningful things are free, and this is the case when it comes to words of affirmation! If you’re uncomfortable giving words of affirmation, because it’s not something you grew up with, this is your time to practice. Just because you didn’t grow up with words of affirmation doesn’t mean you have an “out” not to try.
If you’re a thoughtful gift giver who has been considering the best gift to give someone, then I hope you’ve found this blog helpful. Intentional gift giving is one of the many ways that we can show care and investment in the relationships that matter to us. Happy holidays!
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