4 Reasons to Invest in Premarital Counseling
If you’re reading this, I hope it’s fair to assume you and your other half are engaged (or about to be)! Congrats on taking the first step into an exciting new chapter in your life! I’m truly so thrilled about the idea of marriage, and I get so pumped everytime I hear the big news with loved ones and strangers alike.
At the same time - If you haven’t found out by now, the world of engagement can be… a lot. Maybe you’re getting 20 questions from family members, hearing unsolicited opinions, and probably already feeling behind on the planning process. I’ve seen firsthand the impact wedding planning can have on a relationship.
If couples are not intentional, it’s very easy for the months or years between engagement day and wedding day to turn into a marathon of planning, only to find themselves a bit disoriented once the big day is over. There’s scheduling a venue, planning bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers, booking vendors, taste testing, dress shopping, you get the idea. Especially with the ever-increasing visibility tied to the wedding industry, it’s very easy for couples to lose sight of the marriage that awaits them on the other side of the wedding.
That’s where premarital counseling comes in.
I remember it quite clearly - about 5 years ago I found myself in the same boat, with dozens of items on my to-do list, decisions to make, and navigating the realities of a 2020 bride (iykyk). My husband and I decided to make premarital counseling a part of our engagement, and although at first I’ll admit I did think to myself “oof, is this going to be just another item on my to-do list?” I was quickly proven wrong through my experience. I found several reasons why premarital counseling turned out to be worth the investment of my time and money.
1. Premarital counseling was a refuge during the weeks when I felt overwhelmed by wedding planning.
It was a chance for us to put down the “bride & groom” hats and try on the “husband and wife” hats in the company of a trusted facilitator. Counseling served as a reminder about what all the hard work and stress was for. I remember my husband telling me “Just a couple more months, and then we get to put everything we’re learning into practice!” It was a great process, and helped me to feel like I was putting in work toward something that mattered more than table settings and floral arrangements.
2. Premarital counseling reveals any rose-colored glasses you might be wearing.
In the Prepare/Enrich assessment I use, this is referred to as “Idealistic Distortion.” It’s the notion that “my partner and I agree on everything” and “There’s nothing I don’t absolutely love about my partner.” I promise you, identifying idealistic distortion early on will do wonders for your marriage, especially when you inevitably learn that your partner isn’t a perfect robot person.
Once this is addressed, couples learn how to love and accept their partner with their flaws and grow into a deeper appreciation for one another.
3. Premarital counseling is proven to lower the chances of divorce.
According to the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who participate in premarital counseling are 31% less likely to end in divorce than those who do not. With divorce rates increasing, many couples who attend therapy before marriage are equipped with the skills to prepare for and prevent many issues from occurring rather than trying to fix problems once they have happened.
4. It’s an investment that will last more than 1 day.
This almost feels silly to type because it’s so obvious and simple, but it’s true! Couples are willing to spend thousands of dollars and countless hours of planning on 1 (albeit beautiful and special) day. I’d argue they should be just as willing, if not more, to protect space in their schedule and budget to invest in the relationship that will last them a lifetime.
These are the main reasons why I feel so passionately about offering premarital counseling to my clients! Not only do I believe it works based on evidence-based processes and assessments, but I’ve seen firsthand how much insight and excitement can come from taking the step with a partner. I’m happy to be a part of facilitating a space for clients to glean the same benefits I did a handful of years ago.
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Interested in Premarital Counseling Services for Relationship Strengthening?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Premarital counseling for communication skills and conflict aren’t the only services offered at our Baltimore County, MD office.
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Mickayla Waldhauser, LGPC
Mickayla Waldhauser, LGPC offers pre-marital couples counseling services using the Prepare Enrich Program. If you and your partner are looking for educational content and skills to help you prepare for your future marriage, Mickayla is happy to help.
