What the Movie Beautiful Boy Teaches Us About Depression, Substance Use, and Healing – with Reflection Questions from a Baltimore Counseling Intern Inside
NOTE: The blog below contains spoilers for the 2018 film Beautiful Boy. Please proceed with that knowledge.
“The feeling of alienated and isolation. It will pass... right?”
Oftentimes in life, we can struggle with ways to cope with stress, boredom, and the relationships around us. The 2018 film Beautiful Boy takes a look at the ways one person, Nic Sheff, used substances to cope with his boredom, as well as the effects his use had on his father, David. Inspired by a true story, the movie takes the chance to change the narrative around substance use and humanize those who face challenges from a substance use disorder. By looking at both the father and son, the ways this story is told helps re-conceptualize substance use and the cascading effects of it.
Themes of substance use in Beautiful Boy
Starting with Nic, it is clear that the origin of his substance use has meaning to him. Often, it can be easy to either blame a person’s self-control or peer pressure for the beginning of a problem. However, Nic openly talks about being bored and having depression as what led to his initial use. With Nic, it is not a personal flaw but rather a curiosity and a longing to cope that led to his first use. For people with substance use problems and their family, an intense feeling of self-blame and shame around their use can burden them and deepen their already existing struggles. However, watching a movie like this reminds us that sometimes these problems can come out of harmless intentions or circumstances beyond our control.
As the film progresses, we see Nic try numerous ways to alleviate his struggle, but none work for him. Nic tries inpatient treatment, Narcotics Anonymous, a halfway house, changing his environment, and abstinence. While all valid treatment paths, nothing seems to click for Nic. This can be really difficult for people with any mental health concern to face, but it is a very true reality. There are so many types of therapies out there that work for different people at different times. Nic eventually finds the right treatment for him, but it is not after trying many other plans. Ultimately, finding the right therapist or treatment can be tricky, but it is important to try and find a good match if you are facing mental health challenges.
The impacts of substance use on families
On the other side of the story is David, Nic’s father. Right away, you can see the emotional and physical toll that this chain of events has caused David. David is exhausted, overwhelmed, and nervous. At one point, David even tells his wife not to tell anyone about Nic, for fear of how people would react. David represents the outward effects of substance use that we often neglect. Substance use can take a large toll even on people who aren’t using the substances themselves. David desperately tries to understand what Nic is facing, but cannot seem to figure it out. He feels so close to the problem, yet so distant to the solution and to Nic himself. Even if you are not the one using a substance, the emotional toll and experience you feel are just as valid. It is okay to feel broken and lost on behalf of a loved one and to even seek your own help in these moments.
Overall, the most striking thing about this movie to me was the fact that addiction was not the center of the story. It was an agent of change for the characters, but it was certainly not the main focus or thematic pinnacle. Instead, the movie focused on the characters: the father and son whose lives were torn apart by something they could not control. So often, we fail to recognize how much damage and heartache substances not only cause those around them, but the users as well. Really, any sort of mental health issue can cause a riptide of sadness that is to no fault of anyone. This storytelling aspect of Beautiful Boy is poignant and important to remember when we talk about our mental health and the mental health of those we love.
Life can be hard when substances are in the picture either for you or a loved one. It can be easy to blame yourself or them, become stressed, or let yourself fall down a spiral. But it is important to remember that 1.) you are not defined by your substance and 2.) finding the right treatment takes time, but it is out there. The real Nic Sheff is thriving today, years after the events of the film took place. He lives a happy life and has accomplished much. Your story is never over because of a rough patch, you have to choose to walk toward change.
Discussion questions for Beautiful Boy
Below are some discussion questions to help you process the film. I encourage you to think about these and even share them with a loved one that might be facing problems related to substance use.
Is there anything you blame yourself for that might have been out of your control?
What ways have you tried to help your mental health struggles? What ways have you not tried?
How do you define yourself? Is there any way you would like to change your story?
In what ways do you need hope right now?
Are you looking for therapy in Maryland?
Are you, like the characters in this movie, looking for support? At LifeSpring Counseling Services in Baltimore, MD, we offer individual therapy to children, teens, and adults dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, and other difficult life situations. As mentioned in the blog above, it’s important to find a therapist who is a good fit for you. It sometimes takes a few tries to find the right therapist or the right approach for you. If you’re located in Maryland and are not sure where to start, you can give us a call at 443-726-1318, and we’ll help you out!
Beautiful Boy was directed by Felix van Groeningen and produced by Plan B Entertainment.
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Are You a Man in the Baltimore Area Who’s Interested in Online and In-Person Counseling for Substance Use, Depression, Trauma, or Grief and Loss?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
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Written by: Jackson Borchers, Counseling Intern at LifeSpring Counseling Services
Jackson Borchers is a Masters-Level Counseling Intern who is studying at Towson University. Jackson works with adults grappling with sadness, loneliness, isolation, and grief. As someone who is new to the Baltimore area, Jackson understands the intricacies involved in finding connection and finding your community.
