How Lilo & Stitch Helps Us Understand Grief, Change, and Belonging — A Baltimore Counseling Intern’s Take
NOTE: The blog below contains spoilers for Lilo & Stitch (2002). Please proceed with that knowledge.
“I’ll remember you though. I remember everyone who leaves.”
One of my favorite films of all-time is the 2002 animated classic Lilo & Stitch. I loved this movie as a kid and the more I rewatch it, the more I realize just how much the stories of both Lilo and Stitch are meaningful to my life and the lives of so many others. The movie follows a young girl in Hawaii, Lilo, who adopts an alien “dog,” Stitch, after her parents suddenly pass away. Throughout the course of the film, you get to follow their journey adjusting to their new lives, battling grief, and finding their place in the world. In this blog, I’ll be sharing some reflections from the movie and how the characters humanize mental health struggles, especially for kids. At the end, some discussion questions will be provided for when you watch the movie with your kids (or yourself! It’s a great movie for adults too!).
Please note before proceeding that this blog will be focused on the original 2002 animated movie, not the 2025 remake.
Themes of Life Transitions, Grief, and Loss in “Lilo & Stitch” (2002)
Starting with Lilo, right at the beginning of the film, it is evident that she is facing a lot of turmoil in her life. Months before the film begins, her parents tragically die in an accident. Because of this, she is left to live with her older sister, who appears to be in the midst of a custody battle with the state. On top of all of this, Lilo is bullied in her hula class for being “weird” and tends to act out during the class as well. Before Stitch even comes into the picture, it is clear that Lilo has a lot of adversity she is working through.
But what is most striking about Lilo, to me, is the loneliness and abandonment she feels. Lilo has no one that understands her, besides her sister, in the world. Lilo’s bedroom wall is filled with pictures of tourists who she has met and interacted with. Yet, she feels alone and left behind by all of the tourists that come in and out of Hawaii. When her parents leave, her grief comes out as feeling abandoned. When you’re already lonely and lose a person close to you, for whatever reason (death, moving, new relationship dynamics), it is easy to feel like the world is stacked against you and you are left to handle it alone. This is exactly why Lilo seems so real and relatable: she views the circumstance as being her “fault,” even though it was beyond her control. And wow, it can be easy to fall into this trap!
That takes us to Stitch, who quite literally crash lands on the island that Lilo lives on. Stitch comes in as an evil mutant experiment set to destroy, but runs into a bit of an identity crisis after meeting Lilo. Throughout the movie, Stitch struggles with the idea of wanting to belong. He comes from a far away place, with no family or friends and must start completely anew. And that’s terrifying! Even for an alien with superpowers, having to start fresh in a place where you know nobody is very scary. As Stitch spends more time in Hawaii, feelings of loneliness and isolation begin to creep in for him. He has no family, no place to go…
…until he meets Lilo. At first, the dynamic between Lilo and Stitch is a difficult one to manage. Both are troublemakers, but because they have their own struggles and heartaches. While they might be grieving different things (their parents or the loss of a homeland), Lilo and Stitch finding each other allows both of them to begin their healing process. They learn from each other what it means to build or rebuild a family and how to find yourself while doing it.
Finding Common Ground with Those Who May Seem “Different”
One of the most impactful scenes of the film for me comes about halfway through and perfectly shows the parallel dynamic between Lilo and Stitch. The scene comes after Stitch causes problems at the beach and Lilo and her sister are left with the decision of what to do next. Lilo talks to Stitch in her bedroom about how he cries at night and asks if it is because he misses his family. By the look in his eyes, it’s obvious: Stitch doesn’t have a family to cry about. Lilo offers Stitch a place in their little family, but he grabs The Ugly Duckling and runs out into the rain.
This scene gets me every time! Both Lilo and Stitch are very relatable and real here. With Lilo, you see the heartbreak of people leaving and feeling abandoned. She tells Stitch she “remembers everyone who leaves” because that is all she feels she can do. So often, it is easy to feel like all you have is a memory and that the more you open yourself up, the more people shut you down. The pain of Lilo in this scene is heartbreaking but something so many people experience.
Meanwhile, Stitch feels the need to run from the first good relationship he’s had. While standing in the rain, he sees a picture in The Ugly Duckling where the duckling says “I’m lost” and cries this out himself. It can be so easy to run away from something hopeful, for fear that it might not turn out the way you want. Stitch did just this, and now has to find his place. Just as much as people can be a Lilo, they can also be a Stitch. Committing to something you cannot control is scary, but can have so many benefits as well.
In the end, Lilo and Stitch reunite and grow together. Stitch helps Lilo build her confidence and Lilo helps Stitch find meaning and a place. The story of Lilo & Stitch is one of grief and loneliness, but also finding hope and love within all that messiness. There can be beauty in the hardest times of our lives, but sometimes it takes another person to help us discover it. Whether that be a friend, family member, therapist, or even an alien, letting someone else in can be hard but make a world of difference.
Discussion Questions for “Lilo & Stitch”
Below, I’ve added some reflection questions for the movie! Whether you want to discuss it with your kids or need some reflection for yourself, I encourage you to think about these questions next time you watch.
When are the moments that you feel the most lonely?
Have you ever felt “lost”, like Stitch?
Is there anywhere that you are running away from someone right now?
How can you help someone else who might be struggling?
What hobbies make you feel happy, like how Lilo takes pictures or listens to Elvis?
Lilo & Stitch (2002) was directed by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois and produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation.
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Written by: Jackson Borchers, Counseling Intern at LifeSpring Counseling Services
Jackson Borchers is a Masters-Level Counseling Intern who is studying at Towson University. Jackson works with adults grappling with sadness, loneliness, isolation, and grief. As someone who is new to the Baltimore area, Jackson understands the intricacies involved in finding connection and finding your community.
