Breaking Stigma, Building Resilience: Counseling for Men in Baltimore
As a man, getting into therapy for the first time may not be an easy choice. Blocks are everywhere – they come from inside us, next to us, from our neighbors, friends, and responsibilities. Today, I’m going to share a bit of what those blocks are and how we can overcome them, because the best thing we can do for ourselves as men is to understand why and how we are who we are. Therapy is a tool, not a tissue.
Therapy is a tool, not a tissue
Therapy isn’t failure, weakness, or an embarrassment. The idea of talking with a therapist may seem like admitting failure, as a sign of weakness, or not being tough enough. Going to therapy may feel like just complaining about your life rather than just fixing it. You may be the first man in your family to choose to be in therapy or you just do not know anyone personally who has been in therapy. And we may also feel that we just don’t talk about our feelings very well, or often, or ever at all. But therapy is a unique place, it’s for you, just you, and it’s your time for what you need to say, even if you think no one else wants to hear it, your therapist does.
Therapy is naming our values and mapping our journeys. As men we can carry expectations we are proud to fulfill but also can be burdened by. We may see our value as related to our success at work and our responsibility for others, although we may often neglect our own needs for those of others. We feel we are expected to be successful and strong, to avoid showing weakness, and that we should handle things on our own. We learn as kids that some feelings are to be hidden and not openly expressed, and when our feelings are troubling, we learn to avoid and ignore them. In therapy, there is acceptance to what needs to be said and what you want to change in your life. Part of the process is talking about what is troubling us, the other part is finding new ways forward.
Therapy should work with us and for us. In our commitment to others, we often end up feeling unappreciated and unrecognized, invisible at times, alone in our efforts, and resentment may begin to creep into our relationships. We may feel who we truly are has been pushed aside or relegated to an inaccessible place in us, we feel that we have lost our connection to our true selves. In therapy you can begin to know yourself again and find ways to bring more of your best self into your life and to the lives of those around you. Therapy is also like practice, a way of trying out new ways of being and thinking in a safe and supported place.
Therapy is for everyone
If you recognize yourself in any of this post, remember that you are not alone and that lots of us have the same feelings. If it seems like a big decision to try therapy it can often help to talk to someone else first. Letting your partner or a friend know that you’re considering therapy can be a useful way to try out the idea. Sometimes saying it to someone we trust is a good way to find out what we really want to do, and what we need. And remember: therapy is for you, for as short or as long as you need it, and for what you want to accomplish.
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Interested in Online & In-Person Counseling for Relationship Concerns, Depression, Anxiety, or other Men’s Concerns?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Online and in-person counseling for relationship concerns, depression, anxiety, and other men’s concerns aren’t the only services offered at our Baltimore, MD office.
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students.
Written by: David Cloutier, Counseling Intern
Dave offers low-cost counseling services to adults in the Greater Baltimore area.
