Others around us are able to recognize our unattractive behaviors when we cannot. These behaviors are our blindspots. They are the behaviors that rub people the wrong way and cause friction in our relationships. Eye rolling, defensiveness, being negative or overly critical are just a few examples. In those cases, the people around us are confronted with a decision. Will they bring the unattractive behavior to our attention, so we can become aware of it and work on it, or will they simply decide to walk away and create distance in the relationship?

Years ago I read an article about resentment and how it is created. It talked about our people-pleasing tendencies and how we have difficulty saying no to others’ requests because we want them to like us, want them to be happy with us, and because we simply can’t bear the disappointed response that is sure to follow when we say, no. If you can relate, you may want to read more. Saying yes to make other people happy might be creating the very situation you were trying to avoid.

Gardening and relationships probably aren’t words that typically go together, but if you’ve fallen into certain relationship traps, you just might need to hear this. I talk to so many people who desperately want to have a somebody, but when we start talking about the people in their lives, it becomes abundantly clear that these individuals are not their ideal partners.  One of the things that we ultimately end up talking about is needing to weed their garden. So let’s get started to see if you too have fallen into this same trap and need to do some weeding.