The Internal Fight Against Anxiety and Depression: a CBT Based Coping Skill
This is a recommendation I provide all my clients experiencing anxiety and depression, to put up a “fight” with their negative thoughts. I do not want this internal dialogue to be in contempt, but rather provide your mind with the alternative perspective- one that a parent may provide a child. You are the parent. You are in charge. Your anxious thoughts are your inner child. Your job- and it takes practice- is to explain to the “child” why their concerns are not actuality or that should they become actualized that they- you- can handle it. This models the value of thought reframing and prevention of catastrophizing. So here are a few examples.
1. Use reframing to “fight” against catastrophizing about having another anxiety or panic attack.
Your anxious thought, your inner child, says: “I cannot go to work today. If I go to work today, I’ll have an anxiety attack. I may not get to a bathroom in time to have it in private. Everyone at my office will see.”
Thought reframing, the parental insight, could combat: “Anxiety attacks are scary, but you can handle it. There is no guarantee that you will have an anxiety attack today, but should you have one you will use the coping skills your therapist has recommended. It will not last forever. If others see, it’s okay. Other people have them too. You can take a deep breath and excuse yourself for a “phone call” or to ‘use the restroom.’ You’ve got this.”
2. Use reframing to “fight” against self-doubt and depression.
Your feelings of self-doubt, your inner child, says: “I am not going to dinner with my friends tonight. I am in such a low mood. No one will want me there. I don’t think they even like me. Better to do everyone a favor and cancel.”
Thought reframing, the parental insight, could combat: “What about my friends’ words or actions have told me that they don’t like me? What has told me that they don’t want me there? When have I supported them in the past? How did I feel when I supported them/did I wish for them to hide their needs/feelings?”
Eventually, fight after fight, with your anxiety and depression your mind will change its default thought process. I use this analogy of a “fight” or boxing match to encourage feelings of empowerment and ability to effect change or triumph. I ask that your argument not be self-deprecating. Research has proven that positive feedback achieves greater success than negative; and we want optimal improvement. Anxiety and depression are exhausting and so hard at times. We don’t need to contribute to them.
This coping skill is grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy, which recognizes that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect one another. By affecting change in one area- your thoughts- you will affect change in your feelings and behavior.
I hope that this will add another tool to your toolbox of skills that will fight against anxiety and depression.
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Written by: Caroline Masucci, LMSW
Caroline is a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) at LifeSpring Counseling Services in Maryland, and she specializes in anxiety, depression, trauma, and communication skills. She works closely with children, teens, and adults.
