Doing More than Surviving “Happy” Holidays in Maryland
The holidays can be a time of renewed connection with family and friends, traditions celebrated, good food shared, and a new year begun. However, the holidays can also leave us more than a little drained and sometimes frazzled. As parents or caregivers, we often feel great pressure to provide joyful holiday experiences. When the string lights turn on, those of us that are close to loss of a loved one, divorce, or career upset might feel daunted or even overwhelmed. “Have a happy holiday!” starts to feel like a demand rather than well-wishing.
While giving your time and energy to others in service of celebration, it is vitally important during the holidays to take time to care and nurture yourself. The following includes some easy activities and reminders for self-care during the holidays.
Take Instead of Give
Setting boundaries and maintaining space for ourselves is part of practicing self-love. Here are a few ideas to support and care for yourself by taking instead of giving if things get difficult.
Take a walk
Getting out for a few minutes to walk and stretch your legs is a great way to reset. Walking can reduce anxiety and help in letting go of tensions from extended time together with family. Deep breathing in cool air is a wonderful grounding exercise for returning to equilibrium. If you do choose to share your walk time, a communal after-dinner stroll can be a relaxing parallel activity offering opportunity for connections and conversations in a neutral setting.
Take a break
We can feel like we’re on duty all the time during the holidays. A few minutes to yourself to read, rest, or lie down and close your eyes and breath for a bit can really help with feeling overwhelmed. If we let our friends and loved ones know we are going to take a break it lets them know where you are, and that it’s ok to relax themselves if they need a break.
Take a picture
Look for something around you that speaks just to you – maybe it’s a patch of light from a window or a casual assemblage of food. Snapping a photograph of a little still life that brings you peace – and maybe isn’t holiday related – slows us down. You can revisit the photo as a reminder of your moment of private peace and joy if (and when!) the holiday cacophony begins again.
Take a time out
Arguments, especially ones involving politics, may lead us into very uncomfortable feelings such as anger, betrayal, and sadness. You may even feel triggered or start to lose your cool. A good way out is to say something validating but not agreeing such as “I can tell how important this is to you. Maybe we can talk about it later”. You may be surprised at how others will agree to tabling a difficult conversation.
Take a survey of what needs to be done
After an argument we may need to compose ourselves and find our sense of safety. Look around - is something untidy that might benefit from a speedy rearrange? A quick cleanup of our space can also reset our emotions. Organizing for a moment, doing a few dishes in warm water, tidying up, and even the process of putting bags or coats in a tidy line can clear the mind and let feelings settle.
Take a pass
Avoid drinking to feel better either during or after an argument. Alcohol is a disinhibitor and may set us up for increased defensiveness and aggression. Drinking also interferes with how we process our feelings after an argument. The goal of self-care is balance and openness to others. Drinking may seem like a way to avoid feelings in the moment, but strong emotions may still stay with us. Allowing our minds and body to calm with a little help from our choices to care for ourselves may be the best treat for holiday gatherings.
Ready for Together? Get out, and enjoy Baltimore!
When you’re ready to get back to being social, get out! Destinations such as Miracle on 34th St in Hampden, Baltimore and The Charmery ice cream shop are fun for all ages. Strolling the shops or stopping for a bite on 36th St can be a delightful scene and active distraction. Baltimore’s Fells Point neighborhood offers history, restaurants, and great sites especially for those new to the city.
Being in nature offers connection and renewed peace of mind. Baltimore and surrounding areas offer many wonderful parks and trails for you and the whole crew. The Stony Run Trail, Lake Roland Park, and Cylburn Arboretum, to name just three of many, each offer unique natural environments. Breathing and releasing our worries for a moment to trees and sky can help in grounding and reducing anxiety. Giving kids outside time away from screens can work wonders for bringing them back into family togetherness.
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Written by: Dave Cloutier, Counseling Intern
Dave Cloutier is a counseling intern at LifeSpring Counseling Services who offers individual counseling services to adults at our Baltimore City office. Dave works with individuals navigating grief and loss, depression, anxiety, and other difficult life transitions.
