“Have a Happy...”
Ever feel like the odd man out? Dancing to the beat of a different drum? That’s how some of us start to feel once fall begins turning into winter. Suddenly it feels like the whole world is busy talking about decking the halls with boughs of holly, jingle bells and open sleighs, and letting it snow when dreaming of a white Christmas. So many folks out there just assume we’re all part of the gift-buying, carol-singing, glitzy- holiday décor collectors in the frenzied countdown to the end of December. Indeed, there’s no way to escape the season, whether looking online, going to a store, or joining in the water-cooler talk at work. For all its talk of multiculturalism and diversity, America is still a Christian-based majority population, with popular culture accepting Christmas celebrations as the norm.
But truth is, there are many of us folks who don’t celebrate Christmas and easily feel excluded amidst all the merry-making and holiday cheer. Maybe we’ll feel a little less comfortable during these days as we witness others’ merriment and celebrations, and feel bereft of the shared camaraderie that comes naturally to others. Think about the many immigrants from other countries who were not brought up with these traditions, and/or those from other religions such as Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism, as well as certain Christian groups that don’t celebrate Christmas.
Acknowledging Your Feelings and Gaining Acceptance
So what’s a person to do when everyone and everything gears up for the “season to be jolly?” Looking at this conundrum through my therapist hat, I’d adopt some terms from the mental health field, and these include acceptance, positivity and implementing an action plan. Firstly, acceptance means naming and dealing with whatever’s going for you, like acknowledging that you feel sad and excluded when colleagues are discussing Christmas plans. But positivity can put a different spin on things once you’ve really thought about how you’re feeling. The old “different folks, different strokes” adage reminds us that it’s OK to have different traditions, and we can take pride in our own heritage and experiences that bring celebration and meaning.
Positivity means looking at what we do have and what we can be grateful for! Personally, I feel my own Jewish identity provides enough traditions that I don’t feel like I am missing out, plus we get 8 days of Chanukah to celebrate at this time of year. I actually enjoy feeling the goodwill and excitement out there, the common bond of humanity that emphasizes giving and bringing joy.
One other important consideration, I believe, is implementing a behavior plan - planning ahead - so as to use this time in a way that leaves us feeling happy, rather than bored and miserable. Some of us might be fine with a day or two of down-time and relaxation, some of us know we need to include some social interactions and activities and can plan to meet up with family or friends, and some of us feel satisfied when taking care of that “to-do” list. Anticipating and planning what we want to do when “everyone else” is busy will have us feeling productive and satisfied. Whatever we end up doing over this time of year, a belief in acceptance of diversity, together with loving-kindness for all of humanity should allow every one of us to spread cheer. Wishing you all a happy December season!
Search Our Other Blogs!
Interested in Faith-Based Counseling?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Online counseling for mindfulness and faith-based perspectives aren’t the only services offered at our Maryland office
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Rebecca Lencz, LCPC
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden on Unsplash
Date of Download: 11/15/2019
