Thank You, Next: Embrace Unhelpful Thoughts and Continue Focusing on What Matters Most to You!
As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, it is important to think and open the discussion about mental health and why we need to bring awareness to it. Our minds do so much for us every minute of every day. They are our internal hard drive, protector, and a never-ending storyteller. So, while our minds can be the number one helper in perceiving, interpreting, and engaging with the world, they can also be our number one bully when we perceive, interpret, and engage with our world through the lens of our less helpful thoughts.
For example, have you ever been doing something you enjoy, and your mind does that thing when it has to tell you something upsetting? Suddenly, that activity and sense of enjoyment slip away; all you can think about is that upsetting thought.
Without our minds, we would not be able to engage in our favorite activities nor find a sense of enjoyment in them. However, with our minds, we might also experience less favorable experiences and/or emotions that may make it difficult to live our lives to the fullest. That is why it can be useful to look at thoughts in terms of their helpfulness instead of as “good” or “bad.”
So, if you have experienced a time like the one mentioned above, that is normal. The upsetting thought was intended to serve you somehow, but despite being less helpful then, it still took over your attention and energy. Regardless of its helpfulness, it dominated that moment.
When we are dominated by unhelpful thoughts, we are fused to them.
“Fusion” and “Defusion” in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Fusion is commonly discussed in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). We can be fused to thoughts through self-labels, reasons, judgments, and rules to make sense of our world and past experiences we cannot let go of. That is also why thoughts about a future event can often take over to feel like our truth, even before it happens.
To separate ourselves from the less helpful thoughts, we use defusion.
Defusion is the idea that by altering our language, relationship, or perspective of a thought or image, we can identify it as it is and for what it is: a thought or an image. Any power it holds over us beyond its existence is because of the meaning or power we give to it. The truth of a thought or image is not the priority through a defusion lens. The power we allow it to have is.
When we can evaluate a thought or image as a story and control the attention we give to it, we have defused from it.
We can defuse from thoughts in so many ways, and if you have used ACT before, you may already know of some. Even if you are unfamiliar with ACT, you can learn to use defusion creatively and flexibly. If the concept of fusion resonates with you and defusion peaks your therapy interest, working with an ACT clinician can be a powerful way to take ACT-ion in your therapy progress.
Today, we will focus on the defusion technique of “Thanking your mind.”
“Thanking Your Mind”
“Thanking your mind” works by acknowledging that thought is present and that you are having a reaction to its presence. We almost want to imagine that our mind is the kid in the back of the class who always has something to say, regardless of whether it is helpful or related to the information being discussed.
When that other student would raise their hand, we probably thought, “Great, thanks for your opinion, which no one asked for!”
Maybe you thought about what they said and realized that it actually helped you make sense of the information you were struggling to understand or gave you an idea of your own. Or, maybe it was as equally unhelpful as it was asked for. Regardless, you couldn’t control that they blurted something out, but you could control how much attention you gave them. We can hold the same mentality toward our own minds.
When we can thank our mind for pointing something out to us, we can then take the thought for what it is. We can see that it is a thought asking for our attention rather than a truth that is demanding it.
So, next time you are doing that self-care activity and your mind unhelpfully reminds you of something stressful, thank your mind for it! You may even say something along the lines of,
“Thanks, mind, but I don’t need to think about that right now. Maybe later.”
The goal of this technique is not to make the thought go away. If you want to try to thank your mind to make a thought vanish, this may not be the technique for you. However, if you are looking for a way to allow a thought to be present without creating distance between you and what you love, thank your mind! Thank it for the thought, its unique perspective, what it is trying to do for you, and then refocus your attention on the present moment. It may take a few tries, but practice makes perfect. Who knows?
Maybe your mind will even thank you for it!
More on thanking your mind, ACT, and defusion: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
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Written by: Sophie Koch, LGPC
Sophie is a LifeSpring therapist who offers online and in-person counseling services to adolescents and adults (15 and up) to offer help with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, trauma, and mood disorders.
Photos Credit: Anna Shvets and Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels
Date of download: 5/13/24
