Helpful Strategies to Assist with Tackling Culture-Related Struggles
My last article shared four kinds of cultural conflicts that I frequently work on with clients in therapy. Nevertheless, I will not be surprised if your culture-related struggle is different from any of those that I mentioned–over the years, I have learned that at the core of multicultural counseling is the therapist not making assumptions.
Moreover, multicultural counseling does not provide quick solutions. I understand that in front of me is a unique person with a rich history of cultural interactions. This is their journey toward the fruition of their own identity. This is not just about culture. This is about who they are as a person and whether they are ready, and how to get ready to bring wholeness and self-leadership into their identity.
In multicultural counseling, we explore what is a relationship that one wants to develop with their own culture and other cultures? And more importantly, how to get there? I feel honored to be on this journey with many clients. I found the following strategies really helpful to support this personal growth.
1. Normalize conflicting feelings.
When looking at their root culture, a person may feel both close and distant at the same time. When getting close, one may feel a sense of belonging but also the fear of losing themselves. When moving away from it, one may enjoy more freedom but also experience increased guilt and loneliness. Similarly, interacting with another culture, we may feel excited, curious, but sometimes disconnected or overwhelmed.
To begin to understand human struggles in the context of culture, the first step is to acknowledge the co-existence of conflicting feelings. It’s helpful to take some time to reflect on this: what are some of my feelings toward my own culture or a culture that I struggle with. What are my obvious feelings and what are some deeper and more vulnerable feelings? Allow different feelings to surface and understand that you have good reasons to feel those feelings.
2. Share personal stories.
What are the good reasons, though? For every individual, behind those feelings are personal stories that deeply impacted us in the past. Stories that carried meanings that shaped our life – an overprotective father might have a painful immigration journey, a conservative mother might have been a rebellious young woman fighting against arranged marriages. Sometimes we know a vague version of those stories, sometimes stories are swiped underneath the rug. However, the weight of those stories are rarely shared.
Sharing the details, sharing the emotional impact of those stories, especially talking about past wounds is not easy, yet it helps people develop true understanding and deep compassion for each other despite different opinions. As a result, people learn to respect each other’s reality.
3. Bring cultural awareness to everyday life.
Culture manifests in numerous ways. The visible part is easier to notice, for instance, food, holidays, customs, yet the invisible part might take us more time to recognize. For example, some cultures prefer more direct communication styles than others, some cultures prioritize group interests over individual interests, etc.
Sometimes we feel uncomfortable to be confronted by differences. However, the more we allow ourselves to be open to different cultures, the more ok we feel toward differences. Eventually, we can even embrace diversity as it enriches our life experiences, and we grow beyond black-or-white thinking. Humility, respect, and curiosity will help you build connections with people from different cultures and people who have different experiences in the same culture.
We also want to be aware of power abuse. How can a parent provide guidance but also respect their child’s freedom to find their own path? How can a child show empathy to their parents’ vulnerable feelings in front of unfamiliar cultures? How can partners share personal stories without minimizing the other person’s experience? We inevitably feel empowered when identifying with a certain culture. Meanwhile, this power can also be used to oppress another person.
4. It takes time to grow cultural competence
You might notice that some people are less sensitive to cultural differences and discriminations. Some hold more rigid thinking than others. Some feel more comfortable broaching cultural differences. Some stand up against racism more than others. People’s cultural competence–the ability to effectively communicate cultural differences–varies. Identity development models recognize that people go through stages to gain cultural competence. Depending on their exposure to certain experiences, people grow at different paces, too. For example, a person has to encounter another culture on a deep emotional and personal level to develop cultural sensitivity. That’s why giving people the opportunity to learn about your personal stories is more effective than criticizing their insensitivity.
5. Talk to a multicultural counselor.
Given the nuances in people's cultural experiences, it is impossible to give a one-for-all solution. Also, it takes time to build a safe space for one to explore the deeper dynamics in their intra- and interpersonal worlds. More importantly, developing a stronger sense of self and a desired relationship with cultures is a journey that requires ongoing support and empathy from someone who is professionally trained in multicultural counseling.
Overall, culture is a source of conflict but also inspiration. The best part of this journey, in my opinion, is that we not only find a way to work out conflicts, but more importantly, we are inspired to build a more empathetic connection with ourselves and others.
-
用中文做心理咨询 Chinese Counseling Services
Chinese Culture & The Stigma of Counseling
Understanding Emotional Struggles from a Cultural Lens
10 Strategies for Helping You Adjust to Life as an International Student
Brainspotting with Asian American Clients
How to Cope with Foreign Language Anxiety as a Non-Native English Speaker
Ways to Manage Emotions When You Can't Visit International Family During the Holidays
Search Our Other Blogs!
Interested in Multicultural Counseling and/or Bilingual Counseling in Chinese?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Multicultural and bilingual counseling in Chinese and English aren’t the only services offered at our Maryland office
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Si Meng, LGPC
Si is a licensed therapist at LifeSpring Counseling Services in Maryland who specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, life transitions, and mood disorders. She offers multicultural and bilingual services in both English and Mandarin.
Photo credit:
Date of download: 12/27/2022
