Blindspots, Broccoli, and Hot Topics
In a previous blog, ‘Blindspots Are Like Broccoli in Your Teeth,’ I talk about blindspots being comparable to having broccoli in your teeth. Everyone but you can see the broccoli in your teeth. The broccoli can be thought of as our off-putting behaviors, the things we do that rub people the wrong way, without our realizing it. Like the broccoli, everyone else but us realizes that the behavior is unattractive. In cases with actual broccoli or off-putting behaviors, there’s a decision to be made. Do I point out “the broccoli” or say nothing at all?
In our 2020 context, this broccoli analogy has taken on new meaning for me. Our blindspots are not limited to behaviors that cause harm to our interpersonal relationships, they are also things that can cause systemic harm. Here are some common blindspots that have been getting greater recognition this year:
Privilege
Racism
Ableism
Sexism
Sexual orientation and gender bias
Xenophobia
Islamophobia
Anti-Semitism
I’m sure there are more that we could add to this list. I mention these issues in particular because they are hot topics. They are also issues that are ripe with blindspots.
Here are some examples that come to mind.
Example A:
Sally denies having White privilege because of her family of origin’s low socio-economic status. Sally’s belief, however, highlights a blindspot as White privilege is not about her family’s economic status, but rather unearned privilege received on the basis of skin color.
Example B:
Sam says that he’s not racist. He says that he loves all people and often finds himself confronting people when they make racist jokes or comments. Sam is also an active advocate for new legislation that will influence community development and security in a particular part of town. Opponents of this law say that it will negatively impact community residents, particularly people who are Black. Sam, however, isn’t worried about that. This new law would personally benefit him and his business. The blindspot? Sam is concerned about his own well-being with this new legislation. While he says he loves all people, his decision to support legislation that is predicted to harm others does not support that love of all people.
These are just a few examples, and both of them have been completely made up. What blindspots have you witnessed in others on these topics? What blindspots have been brought to your attention?
As mentioned above, there’s a decision to be made. When we see someone else’s blindspot on one of these important topics, do we point it out or do we say nothing? When someone highlights one of our own blindspots, are we willing to listen or do we get defensive?
During a time such as this, it’s really important that we engage in self-reflection and that we question the messages we have received about these important topics. It’s also important that we are willing to listen when others correct us or kindly point out our blindspots. The blindspots we’re talking about today are ones that can cause harm to interpersonal relationships, and they’re also ones that can do even greater harm to larger groups of people.
It’s important to know that we all have blindspots. I’m writing a blog about blindspots, and I too have blindspots. Like others, I don’t know what they are (hence the term blindspots), although I will do my best to be receptive when those blindspots are pointed out. I hope you’ll do the same. Blindspots remain blindspots until they are pointed out.
This is a counseling office, why are you talking about racism, ableism, sexism, etc.?
Great question! At LifeSpring Counseling Services, we understand that these topics play an important role in one’s identity and the way in which one experiences the world. We also understand that these issues can impact people’s overall mental health and ability to access treatment. These are highly sensitive and important topics, and we want people to know that we embrace these conversations in our office. Advocating for social justice is also an important component of mental health professionals’ work.
Want to learn more?
Here are some links for informative websites we hope you’ll find helpful:
BIPOC Mental Health—Mental Health America
Native and Indigenous Communities & Mental Health—Mental Health America
LGBTQ+ Communities & Mental Health—Mental Health America
Mental Health & the LGBTQ Community
LifeSpring Counseling Services’ Recommended Reading List
Anti-Racism Training & Consultation
A multitude of Anti-Racism resources by Dr. Ibram Kendi
Search Our Other Blogs!
Interested in Counseling for Communication Skills and Boundary Setting?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
Here’s how you can get started! Online counseling for communication skills and boundary setting aren’t the only services offered at our Maryland office
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written By: Melissa Wesner, LCPC
Photos: Ketut Subiyanto, Vlada Karpovich, and Flavia Jacquier on Pexels
Date of Download: 11/11/2020
