How to Start Becoming a More Transgender Inclusive and Gender-Affirming Person
The out transgender and gender non-binary (TGNB) populations are among the fastest-growing populations in the United States. Research conducted by the Williams Institute of Law shows that 1.4 million people identify as transgender. Similarly, GLAAD’s Accelerating Acceptance 2017 Survey shows that at least 17% of the millennial population identifies as transgender or non-binary.
What this means is that you are likely to know someone who identifies as TGNB. They could be your neighbor, a family friend, they could even be your child. So now what? How do you treat them with dignity, respect, and worth as human beings? How do you learn to respect their individuality and be a supportive person in their life?
Let’s start with the basics. What is transgender and what is gender non-binary? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.” According to the Society for the Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity (a division of the APA), “the term nonbinary is used both as an umbrella term and a gender identity label to refer to people whose gender does not fall within the binary categories of man and woman.”
Now that you have a general idea of what it means to TGNB, one of the first things you could do is take a moment to reflect on how you feel about this. Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Do you not know what to do, say or act? Do you know how you can be respectful and supportive? Do you have a bias against people who do not fit into the social norms and constructs of traditional roles of male/female or man/woman? You may not be aware of any biases but that does not mean they aren’t there. Harvard University’s Project Implicit test is an amazing tool that will help learn if you have any unconscious bias that you may not have been aware of and is a great start. I encourage you to check it out!
You are off to a good start. You have learned a little bit about what it means to be TGNB and you have explored biases you may have. Now what? A simple show of respect that you can offer a person who is TGNB is to ask them what name they want to be called by and what pronouns they use. It is important to remember that. It is also important not to ask, “What are your preferred pronouns?” Using the word preferred implies they have a choice. You can also be proactive by using gender-neutral pronouns in your everyday conversations. For example, instead of husband and wife, use spouse or partner. Instead of brother and sister, use sibling. This can go a long way in helping you avoid making mistakes.
Speaking of mistakes, if you make a mistake such as using the wrong gender, or using their “deadname” (opportunity to learn something here), acknowledge and apologize for the wrong and make no excuses!
Lastly, LEARN! Be curious about experiences that are different from yours by researching the internet, media, and local LGBTQ+ community centers that positively showcase the narratives of TGNB individuals.
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Written by: Irene Burks, LGPC
Irene Burks is a retired police officer. She has an extensive background in providing training on LGBTQIA+ issues to law enforcement professionals on the Federal, State, and Local levels. Her article, Building Relationships with Transgender Individuals, was published in 2014 in the International Chiefs of Police Magazine.
Photo Credit: Lisett Kruusimäe, Anna Shvets, Polina Kovaleva, & Mark Tacatani
Date of download: 11/18/2022
