Coping with Grief on Holidays and Anniversaries: Baltimore Counseling Support
Navigating significant dates or milestones after a loss can bring up emotional and physical responses we might not have experienced before. After a loss, dates that used to bring joy and celebration now stir up feelings of sadness and dread. In the following blog, I’ll share some creative strategies that can help you remember your loved one and ease anxiety and grief the next time a day on the calendar starts to sneak up on you.
Finding Ways to Remember Your Loved One
The holidays are about connection, comfort, and celebration. But when that connection has been broken due to the passing of a loved one, the holidays may bring about added feelings of distance and loss. Finding ways to remember a loved one may seem even more important but may also be more emotional and challenging. Holiday rituals and traditions offer special opportunities for remembrance and connection.
Remembering Your Loved One with Food and Community
Holiday foods are brimming with memory. The preparation of a beloved dish or dessert is itself an act of remembrance and care for that memory. Scent, memory, and emotions are closely linked in the brain. Preparing food can bring feelings, comfort, and allow for stories to be remembered and passed on. Sharing a meal together with family and friends during the holidays can be vitally supportive and beneficial for embracing our memories and nurturing us for the future.
Remembering with Photographs
Pictures can say a lot. In our electronic and digitized image world there may be a great many pictures and memories to choose from and somehow organize. Digital picture frames with the ability to change photos at a set time, or by phone, can be slideshows of memories for the table or mantelpiece. These frames also allow extended family and friends the opportunity to import their own picture memories furthering connection and storytelling.
Remembering Through Travel & Traditions
Holiday destinations shared by family can also preserve a tradition of person and place. A shared special event or destination can spark stories and remembrance of years past while keeping a tradition going. Holiday displays such as the Annual Holiday Train Garden at The Shops at Kenilworth Mall in Towson is a favorite tradition for all ages. For family and friends helping organize an event or destination can be a beautiful way to support a grieving loved one.
Being Mindful of Your Own Needs
Especially during the holidays, accepting your own needs and feelings is vital for connecting with memories and for finding new meaning in your traditions. Taking a break for your own feelings and memories, allowing yourself extra time for rest and tasks to do, and accepting that grieving is with us when it needs to be, are especially good practices for this time of year. We can also remind ourselves to ask for help, comfort, and to accept peace and joy when they appear.
Anniversaries and significant dates can certainly stir up feelings of sadness and grief as well as physical body sensations like tension and bracing. As these dates approach, pay attention to your feelings and body sensations. The way you want or need to approach these dates may change over time. Creating space to both feel and express your feelings, find support through community, and cherish fond memories can all play a beneficial role in handling grief around the holidays and other anniversaries.
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If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for mindfulness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief and loss. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too!
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The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students.
Written by: Dave Cloutier, Counseling Intern
Dave Cloutier is a counseling intern at LifeSpring Counseling Services who offers individual counseling services to adults at our Baltimore City office. Dave works with individuals navigating grief and loss, depression, anxiety, and other difficult life transitions.
