How to Help a Friend Who is Thinking About Suicide
The topic of suicide is one that can make people feel really nervous. The average person isn’t trained to recognize the warning signs of suicide or how to respond in a way that’s helpful. As a result, we can feel panicky and helpless when someone we know shares that they’re having these thoughts. Here are some steps you can take to help a friend, family member, or colleague who discloses that they’re thinking about suicide.
Know that you are trusted.
If someone tells you that they’re thinking about suicide, it’s because they trust you. While you may not personally feel equipped to handle this information, your friend finds you to be a trustworthy person, and that’s why they’re telling you. Take a deep breath!
Take your friend’s word seriously.
Out of nervousness or uncertainty of how to help, we may try to minimize or make light of what we’re being told. If someone tells you that they are thinking about suicide, believe them and take them seriously. Perhaps your friend has considered suicide before and has not acted. Take each time seriously.
Listen.
A common misconception is that talking about suicide will put ideas into someone’s head. If someone is talking to you about suicide, they’ve already been thinking about it. It can be a relief for someone to actually talk about these thoughts out loud. Your presence and willingness to listen means more than you know.
Encourage your friend to tell someone.
If someone is experiencing thoughts of suicide, it can be helpful for the people who are closest to them to know what’s going on. Encourage your friend to tell their parents or partner, so they have additional support and others who can be involved. If your friend is nervous about sharing, you can offer to be there while they make that call or tell one of those people in person.
Encourage your friend to get professional help.
Stigma around mental health treatment still exists, so encouraging your friend to seek mental health treatment sends the message that it’s OK to get help. There are many different levels of mental health treatment to meet people’s needs. Depending on the situation, your friend may need inpatient hospitalization, a partial hospitalization program, outpatient counseling, and/or medication management. It’s not your job to know exactly what kind of treatment your friend needs, but encouraging your friend to get professional help is one way that you can help and support your friend.
Encourage your friend to call a crisis hotline when they are experiencing thoughts of suicide.
The National Suicide Prevention LifeLine is a 24/hour crisis hotline that your friend can call, regardless of where s/he is located in the United States. The crisis hotline has trained professionals who are ready to assist around the clock. Depending on the situation, you can encourage your friend to call in that moment.
In cases of emergency or imminent danger, call 911.
If your friend is in immediate need of help, call 911. If your friend is clearly in crisis and unable to maintain safety, call 911. This can be a startling experience, especially if you’ve never had to make a call like this before. Nonetheless, you’ll at least know that your friend is going to get the help they need.
Take care of yourself and get the support you need.
Supporting someone who is experiencing thoughts of suicide can be frightening and stressful. It’s important to make sure that you are getting the help and support you need as well. Seek professional counseling if you need someone to talk to about this experience.
Remember that you are not responsible for your friend’s decisions.
When someone tells us that they are experiencing thoughts of suicide, it’s natural to worry. We can also feel responsible, given that our friend has decided to share this information with us personally. It’s important to know that you are not responsible for your friend’s decisions. You can certainly help by taking the steps above, but your friend’s decisions and willingness to get the needed help are not things that you can control.
Please know that you don’t need to be a trained mental health professional to help a friend who is experiencing thoughts of suicide. Taking these steps will show that you care and want to make sure that your friend is safe. Encourage your friend to seek professional help, and be sure to get the support you need as well.
Crisis resources that we recommend for people in the Greater Baltimore area
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Written By: Melissa Wesner, LCPC
Photo Credit: cottonbro, Lifeline, and Anna Shvets on Pexels and suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Date of Download: 10/19/2020
