How to Care for Yourself When Someone in Your Life Will Not Seek Therapy
Sometimes, the people we care about are struggling with their mental health and are not willing to seek help. If you have already tried talking to them and the conversation did not go well, you may be left feeling frustrated, confused, and unsure of how to proceed. Unfortunately, there are times when other people’s unwillingness to seek counseling causes distress in our own lives. This article will talk about how you can look after yourself when you are feeling the burden or ramifications of someone close to you not seeking therapy.
First, it is important to remember that if someone does not want to seek therapy, you cannot force them. Sometimes, the more you push this topic, the less likely they are to go. In the counseling world, we often encourage people to focus on what they can control. If someone is not interested in therapy, then be open to hearing their reasoning why. Listening to their reasons is another way of showing support and caring for their opinion. By doing so you open up the conversation for you to ask them about other ways that they may be open to receiving help. This allows you to gain information from them about other ways that they can feel supported.
Second, while you can still offer support, it is important that you remember to take care of yourself. It is difficult to continue helping and supporting someone if you are not okay. If you wear yourself out, it will be more challenging for you to have patience. Make sure you have people that are supportive of you. It can be important in this time to have others to lean on. Having the option to talk to other people also gives you different perspectives on the situation. Having a good support system for yourself can be critical for something like this.
Third, this could be a very important time for you to set some boundaries in this relationship. You cannot be there for someone all of the time, so set some limits and try to stick with them. Sometimes when someone in our life is struggling it can impact us significantly. Depending on the situation, you may need to consider seeking therapy for yourself. If the severity of the situation is beginning to impact you, seeking therapy for yourself could be a helpful way to navigate the relationship. By seeking support for yourself, you’re focusing on something you can control.
Overall, if someone you care about appears to be struggling and is not open to the idea of seeking therapy then you need to respect that. This does not mean abandoning them however you can still support them and be there for them; but you cannot force them. It is important to remember that the point of encouraging someone to seek therapy is for their own benefit, and for the hope that it will improve their relationships around them. The goal is to find a way to help them and if therapy is not the way then collaboratively see if you can both find a way that may be helpful. In a situation like this it is important to look after yourself as this has the potential to become quite distressing. If someone you care about will not seek therapy then be prepared to accept that answer and find ways to take care of yourself such as identifying your own support system, practicing self care, establishing boundaries, and potentially seeking therapy for yourself.
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Written by: Lindsay Fortier, LGPC
Photo Credit: Jure Širić, Liza Summer, Madison Inouye, and SHVETS Production
Date of Download: 8/26/2021
