What is Social Anxiety, and What Does It Look Like?
Imagine that you are standing at a podium on a stage in an auditorium. The seats are filled. There are bright lights illuminating you. All eyes are on you. There is silence as the audience waits for you to begin. Before you open your mouth, you notice your heart racing and your body sweating. You grip the podium because you feel your legs trembling and are afraid of falling. The mental image of you stumbling in front of the audience and causing an explosion of laughter crosses your mind. “What a klutz!” is the phrase playing over and over in your mind. A wave of heat comes over you and you feel yourself blushing and full of embarrassment and humiliation. You leave the stage desperate to escape the overwhelming feelings of embarrassment. The thought of being taunted about your clumsiness fills you with dread and makes you want to stay in your home. A full and colorful story about your incompetence has played out in your mind before you even speak.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder (also known as social phobia) means exactly as it sounds: having anxiety specifically about social situations along with deep worry about being judged. This deep worry about being judged tends to take the form of irrational thoughts (“She thinks I’m stupid,” “My body odor is offensive,” “If there a lull in conversation, then it means I’m bad at talking to people”), which then influences our behavior.
It can look like the above example where it is related to performing or public speaking, but it can also look like not spending time with friends, not participating in a class discussion or meetings, avoiding public restrooms, avoiding eating or drinking in public, avoiding talking on the phone, not making doctor’s appointments for yourself, not asking for assistance at a store from store employees, or not correcting the waiter when they bring out the wrong food.
There are also hidden costs of social anxiety: missed opportunities for social connection and loneliness, lack of growth or promotion in the workplace, not pursuing certain hobbies or interests, lack of independence, and feelings of anger, frustration, shame, and regret. These consistent feelings and experiences are characteristic of social anxiety disorder. However, people can also occasionally experience these kinds of thoughts and feelings without having the full disorder (we are all human after all!).
If you think you have social anxiety, the next step for you is to schedule an appointment with a qualified mental health professional, such as a licensed therapist, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
The good news about social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is that it is treatable. Recommended treatments include medication management and psychotherapy (also called talk therapy) where a professional can guide you through therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), exposure therapy, and relaxation skills. You and your provider can work together to decide what treatment option is right for you.
With the help of a qualified mental health professional, you can learn how to cope with your social anxiety so that it stops dictating your life and making your decisions for you. Imagine how different and better life can be!
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Here’s how you can get started! Online counseling for anxiety isn’t the only service offered at our Maryland office
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Sara Secada-Lovio, LCPC
Photo Credit: Liza Summer & Yan Krukov on Pexels
Date of Download: 4/18/2022
