What is Sex Therapy? Frequently Asked Questions
For some people this might sound like a rather obvious question. In reality, it is one of the most frequent questions I am asked when people call about services. People often want to know what sex therapy is and how it can be used to help them with their specific sexual health concerns. People also want to know what a sex therapy session will be like. For this reason, I’ve created a Q and A style article to help answer these most frequently asked questions.
Answers to Frequently Asked Sex Therapy Questions
Q: What is Sex Therapy?
A: Simply put, sex therapy is therapy that focuses on addressing sexual health topics and concerns.
Q: What can I expect at my first sex therapy appointment?
A: At your first appointment, you and your therapist will meet at the office (or online platform) as scheduled. Your therapist will go over office practices and policies, and your therapist will ask you questions related to your reason for seeking counseling at this time. Sex therapists, like many therapists, take a holistic approach to counseling. This means they will ask questions related to biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors that may be influencing your specific situation. We want to understand you as a whole person and the context you are living in.
Q: Will I need to take my clothes off during the appointment?
A: No. You will be fully clothed during your entire appointment. In working with any fully licensed mental health provider, clothes are worn in session.
Q: Will there be any kind of physical touch involved?
A: Besides a handshake to say hello and goodbye, there will be absolutely no physical touch involved in your therapy. Sexual touch is considered a boundary violation for licensed mental health providers. While a hug is sometimes given in traditional talk therapy (if appropriate and initiated by a client) at the end of a talk therapy session, sex therapists often stay away from this. The reason? You will be talking about very personal and intimate details of your life, and for this reason, sex therapists like to make sure that there are firm and clear boundaries in place.
Q: What kind of techniques will you use to help me with my specific issue?
A: I sometimes wonder if people are asking this question because they want to know if sexual touch will be involved in our work together. While there are some people who advertise services that involve intimate and/or sexual touch as a form of sex therapy, that is a different kind of service than what is offered here at LifeSpring. The use of the phrase “sex therapy” by these providers can clearly create some confusion for people when seeking sex therapy services. It will be important for you to consider the type of service it is you are seeking.
If you want to know whether or not touch will be a part of your therapy here at LifeSpring, see the responses above.
Otherwise, here’s my response to the question above. I don’t know, and it depends. A therapist first has to meet with you to complete your intake evaluation to better understand your specific situation. With sex therapy, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What is causing one person’s sexual health concern may not be causing the very same issue to be show up for someone else. Before we can determine the approaches that will be most helpful in your specific situation, we need to gather information. From there, we’ll work together to create a treatment plan that includes that goals you’d like us to work on.
Q: What does a sex therapy session look like?
A: A sex therapy session looks much like any other counseling session. Once you and your provider have completed the initial evaluation process, the two of you will work together to create a treatment plan that contains the goals that you would like to work on. In sex therapy, your provider may offer educational information that is relevant to your specific situation. They may ask you to meet with your primary care provider or some other specialist to rule out other issues and/or to facilitate the work you are doing. Your sex therapist may also introduce new techniques and strategies to help you out. All of this is accomplished by talk alone.
Sex therapists have different training backgrounds and areas of specialization. Depending on your therapist’s background, they may incorporate treatment modalities such as mindfulness, Brainspotting, person-centered counseling, as well as other commonly-used approaches.
Q: What kind of issues can sex therapy treat?
A: Sex therapy can help address a wide-range of topics, and the list would be too long to include here in its entirety. To give you some examples, however, sex therapy can help people explore questions and concerns related to gender identity, sexual identity, desire levels, erectile difficulties, sexual shame, sexual issues in the context of one’s culture and/or religious beliefs, and more. At the same time, sex therapy can also be used for people who want to enhance sexual health and wellness. Therapy doesn’t just have to address what’s going wrong. It can help enhance what’s working well.
I hope that helps you better understand what to expect from sex therapy services when working with a licensed mental health provider.
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Interested in Sex Therapy, or Counseling to Address Boundary-Setting and Communication Skills?
If you’re a Marylander who knows that counseling is the direction you need to take, the therapists at LifeSpring Counseling Services are here to help. We offer online counseling services for sex-related concerns, boundary-setting and communication skills, depression, and anxiety. We also offer Brainspotting as a specialized service, and Brainspotting can be done online, too! Melissa Wesner, LCPC also exclusively offers sex therapy to clients.
Here’s how you can get started! Online counseling for boundary setting, communication, and sex therapy aren’t the only services offered at our Maryland office
The counselors and social workers at our Maryland office also offer counseling services for trauma, grief and loss, boundary setting, communication skills, and difficult life transitions. We also offer specialized counseling services including Brainspotting and spiritually-integrated counseling. Because we are located next to several local universities, we also work with college students and international students.
Written by: Melissa Wesner, LCPC
Photos: Ava Sol, Zukif Naim, and Becca Tapert on Unsplash
Date of Download: 7/7/2020
